Child of True Reason

I was trying to pray during the operation. Kaso hindi ako makapag-isip ng maayos. Dala na rin siguro ng anesthesia na sinaksak sakin. Yung tipong pag sinusubukan kong gumawa ng pangungusap nagrarambol yung mga salita. Ipinagpasa-Diyos ko na lang lahat.

After the operation I was brought to the recovery room. Dun ko na ulit nakita si Basuraman. I immediately asked him if he was able to see our baby. He said yes. But he can't hide the worry from his eyes. While waiting outside the operating room kinuwento niya sakin na biglang may dumaan sa likod niya na tumatakbo. He wasn't sure but he felt right then that they were carrying our baby. She was placed inside an incubator and she has IVs strapped on her arms/feet. She was so tiny and her color was blue. She has to use a ventilator because she was having trouble breathing. She has a pneumonia which means she has to take antibiotics. Her neonatal doctor talked to Basuraman that if her pneumonia gets worse they have to use a stronger kind of antibiotic. Basuraman was asked to sign the waiver. Naiyak nako by that time. Hindi ko maimagine ang itsura and kalagayan ng baby ko.

The next day I was able to visit her in the NICU. A day after my operation nakuha ko ng tumayo at maglakad. I need to. Mahabang kwento ang pagstay ko sa hospital after giving birth. I'll try to do an entry about that. Hindi ko na napigilang umiyak nung nakita ko si baby. Panay naman ang hagod ng midwife sa likod ko to comfort me. Baby's weight was only 1482 grams when she was born. Her eyes was covered because of the blue light. Her bilirubin went up thus leading to jaundice. Her ventilator reaches up to her trachea because she can not breathe on her own. She was being fed by tube. From color blue her color became red. Her skin was almost translucent. Since she was born premature, her eyes were not yet fully developed. According to her doctor, if her retinas do not grow well they have to perform a laser treatment. Andaming monitors na nakadikit sa katawan niya.

We were very grateful that the primary midwife of NICU knows how to speak english and she assured us that they will do everything to take good care of our baby until we can bring her home. She was also the one who will mainly look after her.

Everyday there was an improvement. Our baby girl is a fighter. Her ventilator was changed to respirator which means she was breathing outside air. By the time her respirator was removed on daytime we were able to do kangaroo care(skin to skin contact). After her respirator was removed she was able to feed by bottle. Hanggang she was removed from the incubator and placed in a regular baby crib. She didn't go through any laser treatment for her eyes since her retinas grew well. Sobrang saya namin nung totally wala na siyang monitors na nakakabit sa katawan niya. Pero wala na yatang mas sasaya nung sinabi sakin ng midwife na pwede na daw namin iuwi si baby.

I stayed for 11 days in the hospital because my doctor won't allow me to go home until my anemia gets treated. Baby stayed in the hospital for 68 days. After being discharged from the hospital everyday ko siya pinupuntahan sa hospital. 2 days lang ako pumalya dahil sumakit ang tahi ko. May notebook ang baby namin na araw-araw sinusulatan ng mga nurses/midwives tungkol sa kanyang development. We also wrote on it if we have questions or message for baby.

It was a very challenging experience for us. Sa sobrang pagpaplano naming mag-asawa para sa paglabas ni baby iba pala ang gusto ni Lord para sa amin. Ginawa niyang exciting. Mahirap para sa amin ni Basuraman dahil kaming dalawa lang ang andito. Wala ang pamilya namin at iilan lang ang kaibigan namin dito. We are not your typical OFW na kasali sa mga Filipino Community/Group chenes. Pero kinaya namin at patuloy naming kinakaya ang lahat ng dumarating sa buhay namin dahil wala man dito ang pamilya at kaibigan namin physically, they try to do their best to support and help us. And of course we believe na hindi kami pababayaan ni Lord.

Say hello to our angel Mariko Cirille. We call her Miko for short ^_^

November 17, 2012 ng naiuwi na namin siya sa bahay. By that time andito na rin si mama ko sa Japan to help me with Miko. Currently she's doing great. From 1482 grams at birth, now she's already 5kg. And getting heavier everyday! She's taking a medicine for her anemia and hopefully on her check-up on January 7 e magaling na siya. Sabi nga ng mga kaibigan and kamag-anak namin hindi mo iisipin na premature si Miko. Technically she's already 3 months pero ang development ng katawan niya is parang 1 month lang since 2 months siyang maagang ipinanganak. Sa ngayon araw-araw naming ipinagdarasal na huwag siyang magkasakit and lumaki siyang healthy.

We had to stay here in Japan for the holidays. Our first christmas and new year here in Japan and outside the Philippines. We were advised na huwag muna ilabas si Miko since winter ngayon and panahon ng flu. Premature babies are very sensitive to infections and diseases. Nakaka-miss man ang pasko sa Pinas masaya pa rin kami dahil magkakasama kaming pamilya (including my mom). 

Miko-chan was the best gift Basuraman and I received this Christmas! ^_^

                                                       Basuraman and Miko-chan ^_^

Merry Christmas and Happy new year everyone! Godbless!

Mariko means child of true reason .

Week 30 September 10, 2012

Clinic
Morning - I felt so weak because of the pain and my bleeding was getting worse. I asked Basuraman to call Lola OB and talk to her about my situation. She asked us to come to the clinic by 4pm. But when Basuraman told her about my bleeding she said to come by 11am. I was praying and hoping that there was nothing wrong with my baby. I was crying and on the brink of asking Basuraman to call the ambulance. I tried to remain calm while Basuraman was calling for a taxi. I was having a hard time walking. Lumagpas pa si Manong driver pagdating sa clinic so I have to walk a few steps. The path was inclined a little bit and it made walking painful. The staff at the reception desk asked me if I was OK. I just looked at her and said nothing while handing my insurance card and clinic ID (clinics/hospitals here issue an ID where the personal information and record of the patient is stored). I just closed my eyes and waited patiently for my turn. When I was called I immediately told Lola OB of what's been happening to me. She would have seen it in my face how bad I was feeling. She hurriedly told her staff to prepare the things for my ultrasound check. 

After the ultrasound she asked me to dress up immediately and proceed to the other side of the room. This time she didn't tell me right away what she'd seen in the monitor/check. It's like everyone was in a hurry. Basuraman was brought inside the room. Lola OB told us that my cervix was already open and I will be giving birth anytime. It was like "Ha? Totoo ba ito? Am I dreaming? This can't be happening". Sa sobrang kaba at nerbiyos ko hindi ko nakuhang umiyak. I was led to another room to lay down while Lola OB was calling the ambulance. One of her staff was trying to comfort me. I can hear Lola OB making calls. Maybe looking for a hospital that has an English-speaking staff/doctor.

Mixed emotions. Kahit yung mukha ni Basuraman blanko. Hindi ko alam kung anong nararamdaman niya at that time nung sinabing manganganak nako. I was only 7 months pregnant. What will happen to my baby? This really shouldn't be happening.

Ambulance
First time kong ma-ambulansya sa tanang buhay ko. First close encounter ko sa ambulansya dito e nung inatake ng vertigo si Ate Joy. Actually we didn't know what's happening to her that's why Kuya Roel decided to call 119. Oha binaligtad na 911. Pahirapan pa sa pagsasabi ng address namin and condition ni Ate Joy dahil hindi marunong mag-english yung operator. Anyways ang kagandahan lang sa case ko is kinausap na ni Lola OB yung magdadala sa kin sa hospital. I was brought to Musashino Red Cross Hospital. Since pareho naman kami ni Basuraman na nakakaintindi ng basic Japanese nasagot naman namin yung questions ng paramedics on our way to the hospital. The one assisting us/beside me was very kind. He will always say sorry everytime the ride becomes bumpy. He would even tap my hand everytime he sees that I am in pain. Nagpaumanhin pa yung driver na we have to stop for a while kasi dadaan yung train. And it was for free. Sabi kasi ng mga nakausap ko ang ambulansya sa Pinas may bayad. Pagdating sa hospital yung paramedics na ang nagabot ng documents from the clinic. Hindi kami iniwanan ng paramedics hanggang di ako naitu-turnover sa hospital ng maayos.


Hospital
I was brought to the emergency room. Someone took my blood pressure and they immediately checked baby's heartbeat. Good thing was she's still doing fine. Andaming nurses/midwives/doctors sa emergency room e ako lang naman ang pasyente. Diko nga alam kung usi lang ba yung iba dun. Anyways it was my first time so hindi ko alam kung ganun ba talaga. Sobrang asikaso nila. Merong nakahawak sa kamay ko. May humahagod sa braso ko everytime I wince in pain. Yung marurunong mag-english they try to calm me kahit hirap na hirap sila sa pag-eenglish. Yung tipong nawala talaga yung nerbiyos ko saglit dahil kahit hindi ko sila kakilala they did their best to comfort me. The doctor did an ultrasound to fully check my baby. Kebs na kung lalaki yung OB. According to Sakamoto Sensei I was already 6cm dilated and my water bag already broke. They were asking when my water bag broke. I can't answer them because I didn't know when. I also told them about the medicine Lola OB prescribed to me when I was having contractions. They wondered why I was taking that medicine. Anyways according to Sensei the reason why I am having a preterm labor is due to uterine contractions caused by bacterial infection. I didn't know that I was already undergoing preterm labor during the times when I felt contractions. Anytime soon I will be giving birth. At first he said I can do normal delivery so we have to wait. I was brought to another room. After a few minutes(I already forgot kung gano katagal ang lumipas) Sensei did another ultrasound check. I was already 7cm dilated. Then he said that he has to perform a Ceasarean operation as soon as possible becaise baby already drank some of the infected water and she has to be removed immediately from my womb. There was one problem. The operating room was not available. They told me that if the OR won't be available in the next 30 minutes they have to perform the operation in the room where I was staying. Sensei told me what he will do. Basuraman was signing all the papers needed. They changed my clothes. Equipments were brought inside the room for additional tests like mammography, ecg, etc. Their equipments were portable. They checked if I have earrings or contact lens or if I have nail polish. Then they shaved my private part. Tapos biglang we were informed that I will be undergoing operation in 20 minutes dahil available na ang OR. Everything went so fast. While they were preparing for the operation someone was talking to me while holding my hand. She said she will be the one bringing my baby in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) once she comes out from me. If there will be no problem she can show my baby to me. But if there's something wrong they have to immediately bring her to the NICU. I was given an epidural anesthetic. At 3:05 in the afternoon I gave birth to a baby girl. I wasn't able to see her. I just knew that there were persons running and my baby was with them.

While writing this entry I am teary-eyed. Ang bigat sa pakiramdam. Parang panaginip lang lahat....

Week 27-29

I'll try to write everything I can remember...

First weekend of September - I cleaned the veranda and removed my plants. There's no use of keeping them since they are all starting to wither and autumn/winter is coming. I also did a geneal cleaning of our apartment. By the end of the day I was so tired. Basuraman scolded me and reminded me that I am pregnant and should stop doing heavy household chores.

September 3 Monday - While I was taking a bath, preparing to go to work, I bled. I was so scared. The bleeding was kinda heavy that I asked Basuraman to take a leave of absence from work and accompany me to the clinic. I had an ultrasound and Lola OB checked baby. My cervix was still closed and baby was doing fine. She prescribed me an herbal medicine that I should take three times a day for 14 days. Though Lola OB wasn't able to tell the reason for my bleeding, I felt guilty and blamed myself for not being careful after what I did in the weekened.

By Wednesday I started to feel pain in my tummy just like menstrual cramps. The bleeding was starting to lessen. I decided to had another check-up on Friday. I told Lola OB about the pain. She checked my cervix and the condition of baby. It was still closed and baby is still in good condition. Lola OB advised that I should take a bedrest until my flight back to the Philippines which is on September 24. I called our manager and informed him of my situation. I had to take my maternity leave in the office earlier. I called my mom and talked to my friends regarding my bedrest. Ate Joy said na baka manganganak nako. I do not want to entertain that idea because I'm just in my 7th month. In two weeks time I'll be in the Philippines and will wait for another two months to give birth. I was praying really hard for my baby's safety and hoped that everything will be better before my flight. Basuraman and I decided that he will accompany me in going back to the Philippines even if it means we have to spend some of our savings for his ticket. I stopped reading things from the net because I am starting to get nervous. I asked my OB if I can get my medical certificate earlier so I can go back to the Philippines before September 24. She didn't allow me and said that I should first be OK before taking a flight because I might give birth in the airplane. I continued taking the medicine and followed her advise of bedrest.

Saturday and Sunday (Sept. 8&9) The pain was still there. It was becoming frequent at night and early morning. It was very intense that I started groaning. The pain then was accompanied by bleeding. I was crying to Basuraman. I was calling my OB but she was not answering her phone. Since the clinic is closed on Sundays, I told Basuraman to take another leave of absence on Monday to accompany me to the clinic especially if the bleeding and pain doesn't stop.